


Please Stay (I'm here hold on)

by bonjourziall (punkjuggie)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sickness, bucketlist!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkjuggie/pseuds/bonjourziall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“A list?” Zayn asks when Niall sits at the table beside him. He pushes a plate full of pancakes in front of the blond and the two boys waste no time to stuff their faces.</p><p>“Yeah, a list. I’ve got a month, I’m not gonna waste it,” he shrugs. Zayn feels like throwing up.</p><p>“Like a bucket list?” Niall nods.</p><p>“Not the kind you see in movies though. I don’t have the money or the time anyway. No, more like new stuff I want to try or things I want to do one last time, you know ?” Zayn nods, but he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know because he’s young, he didn’t think about those things yet, and he’s not dying in a month. His best friend is though, so nods along to whatever he says and throws him little reassuring smiles. He’s just not sure who he wants to reassure yet.</p><p>“Can I have a look?” Niall shakes his head. Zayn pouts. “Aw, why not?”</p><p>“‘Cause you’re gonna do all these things with me. I’ve got one for each day left. You’re gonna find out as the days pass on.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Stay (I'm here hold on)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the longest piece of shit I have ever written. It's actually one of my favorites, so I hope you're gonna like it too. Based off the song Not Now by Blink-182. Originally posted on my tumblr: nialleratemyovaries. Enjoy! xx

“So I made a list…” Zayn looks up from where he was sitting at the table to Niall’s small figure in the dark hallway and lets out a relieved sigh. Because those five words are the first words his roommate has spoken ever since he got the news just two days before.  
  
 _“It’s true.”_

_His voice wasn’t the usual cheerful, bubbly one that Zayn was used to. No, this time, his voice was weak, hoarse, drained from every bit of life it used to be. It made Zayn’s body shiver and eyes sting because he knew all too well what that meant._

_“I’m really sick.”_

_Zayn swallowed, trying to get rid of the thick lump in his throat, trying to get the words right, containing himself the best he could to not break down right there in the hospital waiting room and cry._

_“How long?” he asked with a shaky voice to match his hands._

_Niall laughed, though it wasn’t funny, wasn’t funny at all, it was just empty and hollow._

_“A month,” he sighed._

_Zayn broke down._

“A list?” Zayn asks when Niall sits at the table beside him. He pushes a plate full of pancakes in front of the blond and the two boys waste no time to stuff their faces.

“Yeah, a list. I’ve got a month, I’m not gonna waste it,” he shrugs. Zayn feels like throwing up.

“Like a bucket list?” Niall nods.

“Not the kind you see in movies though. I don’t have the money or the time anyway. No, more like new stuff I want to try or things I want to do one last time, you know ?” Zayn nods, but he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know because he’s young, he didn’t think about those things yet, and _he’s not dying in a month_. His best friend is though, so nods along to whatever he says and throws him little reassuring smiles. He’s just not sure who he wants to reassure yet.

“Can I have a look?” Niall shakes his head. Zayn pouts. “Aw, why not?”

“‘Cause you’re gonna do all these things with me. I’ve got one for each day left. You’re gonna find out as the days pass on,” Zayn isn’t sure if he’s strong enough, never in his life he had once thought he would have to help his best friend, Niall, go through his bucket list. But of course, he will do because it’s Niall, and he’s pretty sure he couldn’t refuse anything to the Irishman, even if he wanted to. So he smiles up at Niall, a real smile that hasn’t been used in the past two days.

“When do we start?” he asks with a raise eyebrow and Niall beams at him.

“We’ve already started.”

_Day 1: Make a Bucket List_

~

Zayn waits outside a high gray building in his brand new shiny car. It’s raining, raining hard but he doesn’t mind. He likes to sound of the rain against the car, rolling slowly down his driver’s window. He has been waiting for Niall for over half an hour but he doesn’t mind. Because Niall had been anxious about it, even though they rehearsed what he would say about forty times the night before, Niall had still been unsure about the whole thing. But it was on his bucket list so Zayn insisted on helping him get through with it.

Zayn checks the front door one more time but doesn’t see anyone come out of it. He shrugs and pulls out a smoke, rolls his window and lets the rain hit his skin as he takes long drag of his cigarette between his lips. He suddenly sees him, wet blond hair that appears darker from the rain, a huge box full of things Zayn can’t make out as he makes a run for the car.

“How did it go?” he asks once his friend is comfortably sat beside him, his carton at his feet and hands him a fag and his lighter.

“Thanks,” Niall replies as he lit up and slowly inhales the toxic smoke.

“This thing’s gonna kill you,” Zayn says and Niall laughs.

“Won’t live long enough for that mate,” he takes another breath but Zayn remains quiet because _right_ , Niall’s dying in a month.

“So? How did it go? You never answered me,” Zayn asks again as he starts up the engine and pulls away from the building and into the busy streets.

“Great. The dick, he didn’t say a single word, he just nodded and gave me tight ass smile while I just kept on going about all the things that I despised in that job. I’m glad I fucking quitted that stupid place. Now we’ve got the whole month to ourselves,” Zayn takes a quick glance at the passenger seat and smiles because yeah, they still have a month together.

_Day 2: Quit a Job That You Really Hate_

~

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Zayn groans but Niall laughs. “We’ve been doing this for hours!”

He complains but he doesn’t stop. Because it’s on Niall’s bucket list and Niall wants to do this so they are going to make it, no matter the cost.

“There’s this guy where I used to work that told me he was able to do it in forty seconds,” Niall says but never takes his eyes off the colourful cube as he twists it in every way, trying to get the colors to fit. Zayn scoffs.

“Well, he’s either a freak or a liar,” Zayn replies and Niall laughs again and Zayn just wishes he could bring that sound out of his best friend all the time.

“You’re just jealous because you can’t solve that Rubik’s cube,” Niall pulls his tongue out at him and that’s when Zayn loses it. He throws his plastic toy on the floor and jumps on Niall from where the Irish boy is sat on the couch and tackles him until he’s completely lying on top of him, their cubes forgotten on the carpeted floor of their flat’s living room.

They stay in silent while they stare at each other, their faces barely inches away.

“Hi,” Niall says and giggles.

“Hey,” Zayn quietly replies. It’s so silent and peaceful and it’s kind of like they completely forgot that Niall’s sick.

“So, what are you up to now that you got me trapped underneath you?” Niall asks, trying to keep his tone serious.

Zayn doesn’t need to reply because his fingers are already caressing to sensitive skin of Niall’s ribs and the sick boy is a panting mess of giggles and cries and pleas as Zayn keeps on ticking him where he knows he’ll react the most and they end up falling off the couch and bursting into yet another fit of laughter.

But at the end of day, with the help of a little look on Google they have two perfectly completed Rubik’s cube.

_Day 3: Solve a Rubik’s cube_

~

“Never ever?” Zayn is shocked to say the least. Because Niall loves food, he eats every kind of food and he never has enough.

“Nope. Never,” Niall replies and Zayn smiles back. “I’ve always wanted to try though.”

It was one of these days, the ones Zayn hates. Niall had spent the whole day at the hospital doing tests and talking to doctors and psychologists and the boy looked totally exhausted. Zayn was there the whole time though, in the examination room when the doctor let him in, or waiting just outside the door when it was impossible for him to be present. Zayn hates those days because it’s in these ones that reality strikes him: He’s going to lose his best mate. And everything is always a little harder.

“You’re sure you don’t just wanna go to sleep?” Zayn asks even though he already knows the answer.

“It’s 7pm and I’m absolutely starving so we are eating the sushi.”

There’s a finality in his tone and Zayn knows he won’t take no for an answer so he brings the bag of take-away food to the kitchen, and take out plates while Niall set the table for two.

“Here,” Zayn says as he sits with Niall at the table, pushing a plate full of raw fish in front of the blond, along with a pair of chopstick.

Niall stares at the food for several quiet seconds, not flinching or making a move to start eating and Zayn eyes him curiously.

“Everything alright over there?” he asks and chuckles. “Are you having second thoughts?”

Niall gets up and Zayn wonders if he did something wrong but surely, he comes back with a bright smile and a fork in hand and Zayn eyes him even more curiously.

“I can’t use chopsticks,” he shrugs and takes a bite of his food.Zayn waits. Obviously, Niall’s eyes widen and he makes this weird noise from the back of his throat as he takes another bite. “This is fucking delicious; you should have bought some before Zaynie.” And Zayn smiles because Niall looks like a 5-year-old stuffing his face with threats or maybe it’s because he used his nickname, it doesn’t matter, he’s happy.

“You know, I could show you how to use chopsticks,” he proposes but the other boy is already almost done with his meal and Zayn laughs. “Never mind, we’ll try next time.” It’s Niall’s turn to smile.

“There’s definitely gonna be a next time.”

_Day 4: Try sushi_

~

“Here,” Niall drops a sketchpad and a pencil on Zayn’s lap and sits next to him on the couch. Zayn tears his eyes away from the TV screen and turns his head around to find his friend looking expectantly right back at him.

“What’s that for?” Niall sighs.

“It’s raining outside,” Niall points out and Zayn doesn’t understand. “I wanted to go to the park.”

“But what does it have to do with my sketchbook?” Zayn asks and turns off the TV because he doesn’t care about it anymore.

“I wanted to get my portrait done by the artist in the park, but it’s raining!” Niall exclaims and well, now Zayn understands. “I guess I’ll just get it done by the artist in my living room instead,” Niall teases and giggles when he notices the way Zayn’s cheeks get a shade darker.

“So you want me to draw you?” Zayn asks with wide eyes because yeah, he draws sometimes but he’s not that good and can’t shake off the feeling that he’ll disappoint Niall.

“Hey don’t worry, I won’t get naked and ask you to draw me like one of your French girls,” Niall jokes and the mood considerably lights up because Zayn laughs with him and grab the pencil firmly in his hand.

“Okay then, stay still,” he lets the sharp tip of the pencil dance away on the rough paper as he tries to capture Niall’s face in the light of this rainy day.

“Thank you Zayn.”

“Thank you? You should wait until I’m done, I’m not sure-”

“No I mean, thank you. Just for being here, helping me, just, thank you.”

And Zayn has to stop for a moment because he feels overwhelmed and he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to grab Niall and hold him against him, he wants to tickles his worries away, and he wants to do anything that will get his mind off the fact that he’s going to die. Turns out it’s not an easy thing to do. So he lifts his eyes to meet Niall’s blue ones.

“I’m gonna be here for you until the very end Niall. You’re not getting rid of me just yet,” he says with the most sincere look and lets his eyes go down on the paper one more time to complete his chef d’oeuvre. He hears though when Niall murmurs something that sounds like ‘I’d never get rid of you’ but he feels like he wasn’t meant to hear that so he doesn’t do much about it except trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach.

It doesn’t work because when he hands Niall his portrait, it looks like the other boy is about to cry and the butterflies are back again when he feels his chapped lips against his cheek.

_Day 5: Have your portrait drawn_

~

When Zayn wakes up, it’s raining. He doesn’t get up though, because the sun is away, the flat is completely silent, and it feels like a good day to have a lazy Sunday.

Except not.

Because as soon as he lets his head hits the pillow, there’s a small blow at the side of his head and orange whistler darts laying on the pillow next to him.

“What the-”

“Nerf war! Grab your weapon, you have thirty seconds!” He hears Niall shout from his doorway and down the corridor as he runs around the flat.

Zayn chuckles to himself and shakes his head as he lies back down on the bed because no, Niall can’t be a nineteen year old. His thoughts are disturb though when he heard a loud ‘Seventeen!’ and he quickly gets out of bed and dresses in a pair of sweats. When he hears ‘Twenty-two!’ though and he still can’t find his shirt, he thinks ‘fuck it’ and grab his own plastic gun from his wardrobe and his own foam darts and leaves the room, still shirtless.

The flat is deadly silent, _oddly_ silent and Zayn doesn’t like it one bit and he wonders how he’ll make it without Niall once the younger boy passes away , but he shakes the thought out of his head because now isn’t the time to think about this. Now, it’s time for war.

He walks carefully in the kitchen and he has a bad feeling when he hears a shaky breathe but he can’t tell where it’s from. Soon enough though, a blond head pops out from behind the island counter in the middle of the kitchen and his body is covered in orange darts as he tries to shoot back, poorly aiming. Niall escapes to the living room but Zayn has spotted him and he’s already on his heels to chase him. They run around the couch and the fancy furniture, shouting curse words at each other without real venom until both of them are out of munitions and collapse on the floor laughing.

It’s silent and they’re panting from all the running but then, Niall’s coughing and panting even more heavily and Zayn is up on his feet and by his side.

“What’s wrong Nialler?” he asks and grabs his hand, trying to get the other lad to sit upright. Niall doesn’t stop coughing or panting though and Zayn freaks out and cries. He tries to reach the phone on the coffee table and begins to compose the unfortunately familiar number of the hospital but Niall stops him and that’s when Zayn realizes that he’s okay.

He wraps his tan arms around Niall’s small frame and holds him against him, nuzzling his wet face in the pale neck and pressing kiss to the blond locks. “Don’t do this to me ever again,” and Niall nods and press a kiss to Zayn’s forehead before lying down on the floor, still wrapped in Zayn’s arms.

So much for a lazy Sunday.

_Day 6: Have a nerf war_

~

“It’s gonna be the first room on your right,” the sweet nurse tells them. “They’ve been waiting for you; you don’t know how much this will make them happy,” she says and then leaves when she’s called to come over in another room.

Zayn and Niall walk side by side in the bright white coloured wall of the familiar hospital hallway. Zayn hates to come here, Niall even more, but today, they both have an award winning smile on their lips. Niall clutches the colourful book in his hand and Zayn bumps their shoulder together to get his attention.

“It’s so nice of you to do this for them,” he says and Niall shrugs but doesn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“We’re in the same situation except they’re kids and they are not supposed to be in that kind of situation, not so young,” Zayn nods along and brings up a hand to squeeze Niall’s shoulder.

“But you don’t deserve to be in that kind of situation neither,” he says quietly but Niall doesn’t say anything back because they’re walking through the door where a little crowd of young boys and girls are sitting on pillows on the floor, in front of a plastic chair in the middle of the room.

Zayn pats Niall’s back as the blond boy walks up to the chair and Zayn sits on the ground next to a little girl.

“Hi!” she says in a very bubbly voice and Zayn smiles up at her. “You have very pretty hair!” she says and reaches out to touch the black raven hair styles up in a quiff.

“Thank you princess,” the little girl giggles.

“I used to have pretty hair too but I’m sick. Mommy says its cancer. Mommy says cancer ate my hair because it thought my hair was too pretty and it was jealous,” Zayn keeps on smiling but his eyes are clouded with sadness as he listens to the words coming out of the little girl’s mouth but soon she’s silent and Niall begins to read though Zayn can’t focus on the words he’s saying.

He’s just looking at him, watching the way he smiles even when he talks, watching the way his pale white skin flushes when he stumble over a word and the way his eyes lights up when he can bring a fit of laughter out of the sick kids’ mouth.

An especially loud giggle from the girl next to him bring him back to reality and he hears Niall’s heavy accented voice read through the rhymes of Dr. Seuss.

“When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle’s on a poodle and the poodle’s eating noodles,” Zayn laughs along with the kids as Niall struggles to make the words come right. “They call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle!”

And that night when they come home, Zayn makes Niall read ‘Fox in Socks’ and they fall asleep on the couch.

_Day 7: Read a Dr. Seuss book to sick children_

~

“You are such a child,” Zayn tells him and gives him a look of pure adoration. Niall giggles and Zayn feels them again, the butterflies are back.

“But that’s why you love me,” Niall replies cheekily and Zayn can’t argue because he’s right. He can’t say it out loud though; he can’t tell his best friend he likes him, not when they only have three weeks left so Zayn just bumps their shoulders together in a playful gesture that isn’t supposed to mean anything.

“So, where first?” Zayn asks with the map in his hand and sunglasses on his face. It was a hot, sunny June day and Niall decided that it was the perfect occasion to go to the zoo. Zayn complied happily like he always did.

“How about the lions?” And Zayn checks his map one more time before he leads the way to the lions exhibit, Niall always by his side.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” Zayn asks and Niall scoffs.

“Yes mom,” Zayn rolls his eyes but Niall can’t see because they’re hidden behind the dark shades.

“Just looking out for you, you know,” Zayn says quietly and Niall feels bad and grabs his hand,which causes Zayn to feel a spark throughout his whole body as he squeezes it back.

“I know I’m sorry,” he says and Zayn sighs.

“No I’m sorry, I shouldn’t boss you around,” Niall shakes his head but doesn’t say anything and they fall in a comfortable silence, holding hands when they arrive at the lion exhibit.

Turns out, the lions aren’t the most entertaining to watch, because when the boys arrive, they’re all sleeping. Niall watches anyway.

“I kind of envy them, you know,” Zayn turns around to look at his friend and waits for him to continue.

“They’re big and strong and they don’t have a care in the world, they can sleep all day if they want ‘cause they’re the king of the fucking jungle and sometimes, I wish I could be just like them.”

Zayn reaches out and wraps an arm around Niall’s shoulder and holds him close because his eyes are glistening and there’s no smile on his face and Zayn knows what it means and Zayn hates what it means. He carefully leans in and stops just above his ear. “You’re the strongest person I know Nialler, never doubt it.”

_Day 8: Go to the zoo_

~

“I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, it’s actually a wonderful idea, I just don’t get why you spent so much money on a pair of white plain shoes,” Zayn says as he follows Niall in their kitchen where the sick boy has placed a complete set of colourful markers on the table, along with the brand new pair of Converse shoes.

“Because I’m dying in a month anyway, that’s why, now stop complaining about my bank account and take a seat,” he says and Zayn sits down. “Now you have this shoe and I’ll take the other and you draw anything you want on it,” Niall explains as he reaches for a green marker and begins to write his name on the side of the shoe.

Zayn watches him work; tongue poking out of his pink lips in concentration and blushes furiously when Niall catches him staring. He makes no comment about it though, he just tells Zayn to hurry up because he has an appointment with the doc later that day and he really wants to wear his brand new shoes. Zayn’s heart sinks at the thought of his Niall back at the hospital but he tries to ignore the feeling as he begins to doodles on the shoes as well, just little things that reminds him of Niall.

He obviously draws a shamrock and a pint because he can’t think about Niall without hearing his accent in his head. And then he finds himself drawing Rubik’s cube on the left side of the shoe, and orange whistler darts and sushi with the chopsticks Niall still can’t use and on the other side, he draws a lion and spell out in a cute font the word ‘Strong’ and when he’s done, he feels satisfy with himself.

And Niall is obviously satisfied as well because when they come back home after the appointment, Zayn finds all Niall’s supras in the trash, just his brand new pair of shoes sitting at the edge of the front door.

_Day 9: Buy a pair of white shoes and doodle on them_

~

When Zayn wakes up that day and finds Niall sitting on their living room floor with a giant, colourful kite in his hands, he has to pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming. He finds himself with a stung arm and Niall still sitting with a kite his hands. He’s not dreaming.

“Where the fuck is that from?” Zayn asks and sits down across from Niall and runs his hands over the kite. It’s a beautiful kite, Zayn is sure of that.

“There’s this man from the apartment below us who was about to throw it away about three month ago but he gave me instead,” Niall shrugs but Zayn still doesn’t understand.

“But where did you put it? Why haven’t seen it before?” Niall smirks.

“It was under my bed,” He eyes Zayn who looks still in awe at the kite. “You want to go make it fly in the park? It’s a windy day today,” And Niall doesn’t need to say it twice because Zayn’s already on his feet and ready to go, despite the fact that it’s not even noon yet and he’s usually sleeping at this hour of the day.

They end up in the park and it’s empty and the boys are glad to have the area for themselves. Niall was right, it was a really windy day, Zayn didn’t even try to keep his hair in place, and he didn’t care.

“It’s huge, how are we going to make it stand right?” Niall asks and Zayn thinks about it.

“You grab the string, I’ll try to make it stand and when I tell you, you run, alright?” Niall nods and grabs the string.

They have three failed attempts before they get it right but when they do, Niall is running around the park and Zayn his laughing because _they made it_ and he’s genuinely happy.

And the kite stays against the wall in their living room instead to go back under Niall’s bed and it’s just a reminder of that perfect day.

_Day 10: Fly a kite_

~

Zayn isn’t sure why they left the comfort of their couch to go to the pub but he thinks it has something to do with pleading blue eyes and a ‘Hey, let’s go to the pub’ in a heavy accent. He doesn’t really mind though because it makes Niall happy and Zayn likes to make Niall happy.

“I’m gonna go sing,” Niall says once he’s done with his third pint and four shooters, pointing to the little karaoke stage in the corner of the pub. Zayn arches his eyebrow and laughs because Niall really is trying to stand up and there’s no doubt he really is about to do that.

“You are?” Niall nods with a small smile on his lips.

“I love to sing!” And then he was gone, making his way to the mic and Zayn was ready for the worst. Niall never told anyone about his sudden passion for singing and Zayn has never heard a single note leaving the boy’s mouth, he didn’t know what to expect.

“Hey guys,” Zayn laughs because Niall’s words are slurred and he’s not sure if he can even stand without gripping the mic’s stand. “I’m gonna sing a song and this song is for my best mate Zayn! Love you man!”

There’s the beginning of an unfamiliar drum beat and strumming of a guitar and Zayn realises he has no idea which song Niall chose. He doesn’t mind though, he doesn’t even pay attention when Niall starts singing because he still can’t wrap his mind around the fact that Niall dedicated a song to him and he still can’t stop his heart from beating erratically when Niall dropped the ‘L’ bomb, even though he knows he didn’t mean it the way he would have liked.

He manages to clear his head just in time to hear Niall sing the chorus of the unknown song.

“Please stay until I’m gone, I’m here hold on to me, I’m right here waiting and take my one last breath, and don’t forget that I will be right here, waiting.”

And Zayn feels like someone knocked the air out of him because he knows what this song means and he hates what this song means but he loves Niall, and his accent and his _voice_ and Zayn could listen to him sing every day for the rest of their life.

Unfortunately, he knows there’s not much days left so that night, when he can’t sleep, he slips under Niall’s cover, beg him to sing him to sleep and that’s what he does.

_Day 11: Sing Karaoke_

~

“I could really use a smoke-“

“Shh, Zayn, this is supposed to relax you.”

There’s pause and everything is silent except for the sound of the water slowly rocking the boat.“Yeah, alright I could definitely use a smoke too,” Niall says mere seconds later and Zayn chuckles.

Niall knows he’s supposed to stay silent because that’s what his dad used to tell him when he was younger, but he’s itching to talk and Zayn notices it.

“Spit it out Blondie.” Zayn sighs.

“This sucks!” Zayn laughs but Niall isn’t done yet. “They say there’s supposed to be plenty of fish in the sea, why can’t we get a fucking one!”

When Niall is done with his rant, his fishing hat is about to fall down and Zayn reaches out to place it back correctly on his blond head.

“Thanks,” Niall says and sighs. “We should have brought booze.”

Zayn laughs again but it doesn’t last long because soon there’s a weight on his fishing rod and he grips it with both hands.

“Ni, I got one!” He says rather loudly and Niall stands in the shaky boat to slap his hand over his mouth.

“Shh, you’re gonna scare him away!” he hisses under his breath and Zayn shuts his mouth as Niall helps him with his heavy line.

They try to rewind the line but it’s a big catch and it’s hard and in the end, the fish swims away with the worm.

“This sucks,” Zayn agrees. Niall scoffs.

“I swear, we’re gonna get one and eat it tonight.”

And that night, they do eat fish for dinner though they’ll never admit they bought it at the grocery store two streets away.

_Day 12: Go fishing_

~

“Just wrap your arms around me,” Niall does so, grips hard at Zayn’s hips and Zayn smiles as he starts up his engine. “You’re sure about this?”

Niall nods but remembers that Zayn can’t see him so he says a loud ‘yeah’ and he knows Zayn heard him despite the sound of the engine and the fact that he wears an helmet because they’re moving and Niall freezes.

He’s terrified but never will he say it out loud. He feels safe with Zayn though and he trusts the older boy with his life and that’s all it took for Niall to convince him to give him a ride on his motorcycle. Niall has always liked the bike; he thought it made Zayn looks sort of badass and that was a huge turn on.

After a while, Zayn feels Niall relaxes against his back and smiles as he drives furiously fast to their next destination. Niall likes the rush of adrenaline, likes to cold wind in his face and he likes how it makes him feel so _alive_.

When Zayn stops his machine, they’re just outside a little coffee shop and Niall smiles because it’s his favourite and Zayn remembered. He can’t take off his helmet though and he hears Zayn chuckles and his face turns red but no one can see because he’s stuck under the helmet. Zayn takes a few step towards him and slides the offensive object off Niall’s head and the blond boy shyly smiles up at him and for a while, they stay still, just smiling at each other and Niall feels like he should do something so he gathers his friend in a hug and plant a kiss on his cheek with a small ‘thanks’ and then they’re off to take coffee.

And if it strangely feels like a date, nobody mentions it.

_Day 13: Ride a motorcycle_

~

That day, Zayn feels sick and Niall has an appointment to the hospital but he tells Zayn to stay in until he feels better and Zayn doesn’t like it because he’s usually there at every meeting Niall has with his doctor, no matter how much it kills him inside.

He’s having a coughing fit when he hears the front door open and suddenly, it doesn’t matter if he feels like shit because Niall is home.

“Honey, I’m home!” He teases and Zayn giggles and blushes.

He gets out of bed with a blanket on his shoulders and a red puffy nose but he has a smile on his face. He steps in the kitchen to find Niall shuffling around the room, taking food out of grocery bags and pans out of the cupboard and Zayn watches him work incredulously from the doorway.

“What are you doing on this fine evening with this food Nialler?” Niall stops what he’s doing to shoot Zayn a blinding smile and Zayn is pretty sure something broke inside of him.

“Making a dish!” Zayn’s eyes widen in surprise but he still wears his smile on his face. The thing is, Niall can’t cook for his life, and it’s usually Zayn’s job to feed both of them.

“I can make it if you want,” he offers before he feels a shiver shake his whole body and sneeze right there and then in front of Niall.

“No way, you’re sick,” he points out.

“So are you,” Zayn replies and Niall gives him one last soft smile before he returns at chopping his vegetables.

“I’m making you dinner tonight so stop complaining and enjoy babe,” he winks at him and Zayn blushes again and wonders when their friendship shifted from completely platonic to non-stop flirting and lingering touches and after a while, he finds out he doesn’t really care because he’s happy with how things are between them at the moment.

“What are you even doing?” Zayn asks.

Niall turns around to throw Zayn a smirk before he answers “Alfredo pastas,” and Zayn’s breathe hitches because it’s his favourite meal and he has a feeling Niall’s totally aware of that.

“I can’t promise you it’ll be as good as yours though!” and Zayn laughs with Niall but he knows he’ll eat whatever the blond cooks him because he just loves him that much.

And it turns out that Niall isn’t that bad of a chef and makes excellent pastas and Zayn has to refrain himself the best he can to not just kiss Niall right then and there.

_Day 14: Learn to make a dish_

~

The next day, Zayn feels a little better but he’s still sick so they decide to spend a day in. They’re on the couch sharing a smoke and Zayn has just taken the fag out of Niall’s mouth when the blond speaks up.

“We should stop,” Niall says and Zayn is confused as he blows out the smoke.

“What are you talking about?” he goes to take another puff but Niall stops him and Zayn thinks it’s just to steal it from him for a puff or two but Niall throws it in the ashtray instead and Zayn doesn’t understand. “What the fuck you did that for?”

“It’s gonna kill us,” Niall says and Zayn still looks at him like he’s a madman and well, he kind of is. “I mean, I’m already gonna die so this is irrelevant but it’s gonna kill you and I’m not letting this happen.”

Zayn wants to scream at him, shakes some sense into him because his death is _nothing_ close to irrelevant but instead, he just closes his eyes and takes the deep breath, trying to calm down _without_ his smoke because Niall threw it away.

“You want us to quit?” He asks once he thinks he’s calmed down enough and Niall nods and Zayn thinks he looks so small, young and innocent and if he wants to quit, well he’s going to go through this with him.

“Alright,” Zayn says and stands up to throw away his pack of cigarette and multiples lighters and when he sits back down next to Niall, the sick boy grabs his hand and gives him a firm squeeze and Zayn smiles up at him and maybe it won’t be that hard.

Of course, it is and that night, when Niall really craves a smoke, he knocks on Zayn’s bedroom door and Zayn just shifts on one side of the bed, spoon him, throws the covers over them and press a kiss to his head and fall asleep.

He doesn’t know how long he’ll manage to go without smoking but he probably wouldn’t mind not touching another one ever if it means he’ll fall asleep this way forever.

_Day 15: Quit smoking_

~

That day Zayn was feeling a whole lot better. Unlike Niall.

When Zayn noticed that Niall was shivering and heard one of his coughing fit, he didn’t waste a minute to drive him to the hospital.

“You must’ve had got it from me, I’m so sorry Nialler,” he had said but Niall smiled up at him and said it didn’t matter, it wasn’t so bad. Zayn didn’t want to take any chances so he asked to see Niall’s doctor and it turned out it was really just a cold and it wouldn’t affect Niall any other way than the regular thing. Still, he gave Niall some antibiotic that would help him get over it a little faster.

It seemed to have worked because the same night, Niall feels already better and Zayn is relieved.

It’s about 8 PM and it’s already dark outside when Niall gets up from the couch where he was cuddling with Zayn and walks to the kitchen. He comes back a moment later with chocolate, butter cookies and a bag of white fluffy marshmallow along with a playful grin on his face.

“C’mon,” he says and Zayn just gets up because he has a feeling that even if he asks, he won’t get an answer out of the boy.

Much to Zayn’s surprise, Niall’s putting on his shoes and getting out the door and Zayn doesn’t understands where he want to go, the sick boy feeling more and more tired as days pass on. He follows him anyway.

They head outside and cross their tiny little backyard all the way to the metallic fence that separates the concrete ground from the forest and then they stop.

“I’m gonna need a little help to get over this,” he says to Zayn with a sheepish look and Zayn just gets even more confused.

“Where are we going Nialler?”

“I can’t tell you or it’ll ruin the surprise! I just need you to help me climb the fence.”

And Zayn can’t refuse, not when the other boy seems so genuinely excited so he tells him to drop his food and Niall does as told. Then, Zayn crouches down and holds his hands higher.

“Put your foot here and I’ll lift you up,” Niall puts a hand on Zayn’s shoulder to steady himself and once Zayn has a grab of Niall’s foot, he lift the small boy at the top of the fence and Niall slides off on the other side easily. Zayn doesn’t take too long until he joins him and they’re both in the high grass and surrounded by trees.

“So, where to Mr. Explorer?” Zayn teases but Niall doesn’t mind, he just smiles and starts walking between the trees, knowing exactly where he’s going and Zayn doesn’t question it. He trusts him.

They walk a short distance in the darkness of the forest before they reach a spot that is not surrounded by trees, though there’s a lot of rocks and some dead tree trunks lying around a pile of wood and some old newspaper.

“Are we building a bonfire?” Zayn asks and has to stifle an incredulous laughter because really? A bonfire right in their backyard? “How did you even find out about this place?”

Niall smiles as he starts to arrange the wood and lights it on fire. “Last year, when I used to come home late from work, I always heard some singing and guitar strumming and that one night, I decided to go check what was going on and that’s when I found those kids around the fire, with booze and marshmallows and I decided that I would make myself a bonfire as well. Never happened though so let’s get it done while I still have time, right?”

Zayn has a sad smile on his lips as he mutters a quiet ‘right’ but his smile grows wider when he noticed that Niall already has the fire going on and that he’s already taken the marshmallow out of the bag and into his mouth without even roasting them.

“So, are we going to make s’mores or what?” Zayn says when Niall stuffs the fourth fluffy sweet in his mouth and with a little help from the glow of the fire; Zayn notices a faint blush making its way on Niall’s skin.

In the end, they burn six marshmallows and both of their tongue, and they go to sleep with cramps from all the laughing and a stomach full from all the eating.

_Day 16: Build a bonfire and make s’mores_

~

That day, when Niall makes plan to go out, it’s night again and Zayn wonders if it’s a new habit of his to make things when the sun is down. It doesn’t stop Zayn to take a seat Niall’s car though, he’s just wondering.

“So where are we going?” Zayn hopefully asks and he is delighted when Niall actually tells him their destination.

“We’re going to the beach,” and Zayn’s eyes widen.

“At 11PM? Niall, have you gone mental?” Zayn has to bite his lip when Niall shakes his head because he looks just like a child and Zayn really wants to reach out for him and kiss him.

“We’re going skinny dipping.” It’s Niall’s turn to bite his lip, unsure and a little scared of Zayn’s reaction. It would be perfectly normal for Zayn to freak out, because he just told his _male best friend_ that he wanted to go skinny dipping with him. But Zayn just blushes and nods and Niall smiles.

It’s a thirty minutes ride to the beach and it’s filled with laughter and singing and little secretive smiles until they reach the place and they jump out of the car. It’s a bit chilly, even for the end of the month of June but neither of the boys care.

It’s a matter of second before the boys are in the water, their teeth chattering from the coldness of the sea. It’s dark and they can’t see anything because they close the lights of the beach after 10 and the only source of lighting they have is from the headlights of Niall’s car.

“You alright Nialler?” Zayn asks into the darkness and hears a hum in response.

“Just a bit cold,” he says and Zayn is immediately concerned, because there’s only so many times an already sick boy can get a cold before it’s too late. And in Niall’s case, they don’t have that much time on their hands.

“Come here,” Zayn says as he opens his arms and Niall crawls in them, not feeling much warmer from the heat of Zayn but he blushes because of the closeness of the both of them and _that_ gets him warmer.

Zayn rests his chin on top of the wet blond hair as Niall lays his cheek against the older boy’s collarbone. “Better now?” Niall nods.

He pulls back a little and looks into the honey brown eyes he knows so well, “Thank you Zayn,” he says and before he can take it back, he bring their faces together and presses his mouth against Zayn’s.

Zayn is taken aback but not for long because he definitely doesn’t want to miss his chance and he’s almost instantly kissing back, biting and licking and smiling when he hears the little sounds Niall makes in the back of his throat and Zayn thinks they should have done this way sooner.

When they finally pull back for air, Niall is gasping and Zayn slowly opens his eyes to see a flushed skin and swollen lips Niall and he leans in just to peck his mouth once more because they have already spent too much time _not doing this_ and he’s not wasting time anymore, they _can’t_ waste time anymore.

“I love you,” Niall whispers out of breath and Zayn smiles and holds him close against him, his mouth on his red cold ear as he whispers “I love you” back and well, it’s past midnight so technically, Niall can cross out of his bucket list and he has a day off the next day.

_Day 17: Going skinny dipping_

_Day 18: Tell him I love him_

~

When Zayn wakes up, he has a pang in his chest because it’s day 19 and he knows there’s not much days left but as he looks down at the sleepy boy in his arms, he forces himself to stop thinking about those kind of things and settles on waking the other boy with small kisses all over his face and finally, on the corner of the boy’s mouth as he slowly flutters his eyes open.

“Good morning sleepy head,” Niall smiles up and sighs.

“It’s definitely good,” he says and then grabs Zayn neck to pull the other boy’s lips on his.

“What are we doing today?” he asks in between kisses.

“We’re staying in today,” Zayn pouts.

“We did this yesterday,” he whines but Niall laughs and sits up to stretch and Zayn doesn’t even make any effort to be subtle about his staring at Niall’s muscled bear arms.

“Yeah but yesterday we slept all day. Today it’s Disney movies marathon! C’mon, we’ll choose the movies and then eat a little,” and Zayn chuckles at his childish boyfriend but follows him out of bed anyway.

They decide to begin the day with Rapunzel, followed by Lilo&Stich, the two Lion Kings and The Princess And The Frog, moving on to Ratatouille (Niall’s favourite) and Finding Nemo (Zayn’s favourite), finishing with Monster INC but Niall insists to also watch Up and Zayn only agrees with a sweet kiss to his lip.

And the day is spent on the couch, stealing kisses under the covers, laughing and crying and overall, it’s a perfect day and Niall thinks that if he’s going to heaven in ten days, he wants it to be like that.

_Day 19: Watch Disney movies all day_

~

The next day, Niall feels good, very good and so does Zayn. Zayn isn’t prepared though to hear what Niall’s about to say.

“Hey baby, today we’re planting a tree.”

Zayn chokes on his glass of orange juice and Niall laughs. “We’re what?”

“We’re planting a tree on our front lawn!”

And it’s true because hours later, they’re arguing in the streets, wondering where they’ll plant it.

“There’s gonna be so much more light on this side!” Niall says but Zayn shakes his head.

“Just in the morning, then, the building will make too much shade the rest of the day,” Zayn replies calmly.

“Where do you suggest we put it then?” Niall asks impatiently because being wrong is something he doesn’t like and Zayn knows it and Zayn just finds it extra cute.

“We’re gonna put it right here, this way, it’ll have a little bit of sun all day,” Zayn says and kisses Niall’s sweaty forehead as he begins to dig the hole in the ground.

They make it work and in the end, Zayn is right, they find the perfect spot for their tree to grow and they’re actually proud of themselves.

“So, what’s the deal with this whole planting trees stuff? I never took you, Niall Horan, for a green hippie,” Zayn teases as he wraps one arm around Niall’s waist and presses a kiss on his temple, admiring their tree.

“Well,” Niall blushes “I just thought I’d leave my mark down here before, you know, before I go and I thought that would be a great way because it’s ours, it’s our tree and I want it to be a symbol of our love because even when I’m gone, my love for you won’t ever stop to grow.”

By the time Niall’s done with his rant, Zayn’s crying and Niall feels bad for making the older boy sad so he wipes his tears away and slowly kisses him. It tastes salty and too soon, Zayn pulls away for air but still tells Niall how much he loves him.

_Day 20: Plant a tree_

~

Zayn doesn’t know how it even happened. He didn’t approve in the first place, because it’s a terrible idea but Niall always had this way to change Zayn’s mind and convince him that any idea is a great one. Zayn thinks it’s even worse now that Niall can use his mouth and his tongue against him and well, Zayn gives in.

“I thought you said you wanted us to quit smoking?” Zayn asks in an attempt to persuade Niall to give up the idea. Niall just rolls his eyes.

“It’s weed Zayn, it’s not the same,” Zayn opens his mouth to argue some more but Niall beats him to it. “C’mon babe, we haven’t done it in so long, and it’s gonna be my last time, I don’t want you to have a pout on your face the whole time. Cheer up yeah?”

And can’t even say anything back because Niall already curls his pink lips around the stick and suck in a breath before letting the smoke out of his mouth, a satisfy grin in his face. He wraps his mouth around the joint once more and _oh, Zayn is getting flustered._

Niall doesn’t help at all, if anything, he just makes it worse when he grabs Zayn’s neck to press their mouth together, making Zayn inhale the smoke in a hot, wet kiss. When Zayn opens his eyes, he finds Niall’s blue ones already dilated and he leans in for another kiss, his tan hands finding their way under Niall’s shirt and over his pale stomach, enjoying the shiver on the boy’s skin.

“Your turn,” Niall says when they pull away, Zayn’s hands still under Niall’s shirt and the boy holding the joint to Zayn’s mouth. He inhales the addictive smoke and pushes his head back with a moan as he lets it out, because Niall’s teeth are in the sensitive flesh of Zayn’s neck and he’s biting and licking and Zayn grabs his waist so hard that he’s almost sure he’ll leave bruises.

“Your shirt. Off,” Niall says while taking a drag of smoke and Zayn obeys as he watches Niall’s eyes rolls back when he lets the smoke out and Zayn bites his lip so hard, he tastes blood. When Niall opens his eyes again, he has that satisfied smirk on his lip and burning fire in his eyes. He moves forward and presses his tongue inside Zayn’s mouth but as soon as Zayn starts to kiss him back, he pulls away, earning a whine from the older boy. Instead of pushing his tongue back between Zayn’s lips, Niall sticks the joint in the other boy’s mouth and lays him down on their living room floor. Niall straddles him and presses his lips against the inked skin of Zayn’s collarbone, the tattoo on Zayn’s stomach, on his wrist and all the way down to his waistband. Zayn can only breathes out the smoke and let some little sounds from the back of his throat every time Niall reaches a sensitive spot.

And it feels good, the drug in his veins and Niall marking his neck and collarbone and chest and it feels good having Niall’s naked body sweating against his own and Zayn wishes they had more time, because if he could, he’d do that every night.

_Day 21: Smoke weed_

~

“I want to go ice skating.”

“We’re in the middle of summer Nialler.”

“There’s an indoor skating rink down town.”

“We don’t even have skates Nialler.”

“They rent skates.”

There’s a pause. Niall waits. Zayn bites the inside of his cheek.

“I can’t ice skate,” Zayn says but doesn’t meet Niall’s eyes, head low and flushed cheeks. Niall smiles sweetly at him though; it’s unnoticed because Zayn is staring at the ground. Niall decides to take his hands.

“I’ll show you, yeah?” he promises and gives him a little squeeze at their hand.

“You’ll never leave my side?” Zayn asks when he finally looks up at Niall and Niall shakes his head and peck his lips slowly.

“So we’re good?” he asks. Zayn smiles.

“We’re good. Let’s go ice skate.”

-

“We’re not good,” Zayn says as he tries to skate back to the entry of the rink and get out of those death boots but he can’t even stand, so he quickly decides to give up that idea and just grips the ice rink boards instead.

“You’re to tense baby, let loose. C’mon, just hold my hands,” Niall is standing in front of him and Zayn can’t help but notice how sick he looks. His face is paler than usual, his eyes are dead from all the extra treatments the doctors gave him this month, he has bags under his eyes and in overall, he definitely looks weaker than at the beginning of the month. He knows it. He’s going to lose him.

He looks one more time at his sick boyfriend and at his outstretched hands and slowly, he leans forward to grip it. Niall smiles proudly, Zayn shakes terrified.

“Alright, now I’m gonna skate backwards and you’re gonna follow me,” Niall says as he starts to move, his skates sliding against the smooth ice and Zayn lets him take care of both of them, making them move across the rink. Zayn starts to push one foot, then the other and soon enough, he’s skating, still holding to Niall’s hands but he’s skating nonetheless.

And that day, he falls, he falls but he gets right back up because this is how life is supposed to be even though he knows that once Niall will start falling, they’ll be no getting up again.

_Day 22: Ice-skate_

~

The next day it’s raining so they stay in. Niall doesn’t feel very good, and they both know why. He doesn’t feel good anymore in general. The days seem longer, the nights darker and Zayn can tell that he’s giving up. Zayn can’t blame him. When Niall wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming in pain, Zayn can’t do anything so he just holds him close to his heart and prays that everything will be alright, even though he knows it won’t change a thing, and tries to keep his own tears from falling. All in all, losing Niall is even harder than he thought.

“The hospital called Ni,” Zayn quietly says that morning when they’re both still in bed. He presses a kiss in Niall’s hair and the sick boy hums for him to continue. “They said it would be best if you stayed there for the next couple of days,” Zayn says his voice tight. He knows he’s about to cry. Niall snorts.

“The last couple of days you mean.” He says but the end of his sentence is swallowed in a coughing fit. Zayn can’t do anything; he just rubs his back and presses other kisses all over his face. “I’m not done with my bucket list yet,” Niall admits, with a little voice, like he’s afraid to say it out loud. Zayn really wants to cry.

“I’m sorry baby,” a tear rolls down his cheek but Niall is quick to wipe it off and make it disappear. Niall kisses him and Zayn tries to take his mind off anything else that isn’t related to Niall’s tongue in his mouth. It doesn’t work because his best friend, his _boyfriend_ , is _dying_ and Zayn finds out it’s something that is hard to take out of his mind.

“Can we just stay in today and go to the hospital tonight?” Niall asks.

“Of course love,” Zayn passes his fingers through Niall’s hair and notices he needs a dying job. Well, he doesn’t _need_ it, not anymore but under other circumstances, he would. “Anything you want,” he kisses the messy hair again. Zayn is going to miss that.

“Can we build a blanket fort?” Niall’s eyes are hopeful and sad at the same time and Zayn hates it so he kisses his mouth.

“Of course we can.”

And they get out of bed with a pile of blanket in their hands and less than an hour later, they’re lying on a pile of pillows in their blanket fort in the middle of the living room. It’s still raining and they can hear the rain hitting the windows. Niall has his head on Zayn’s stomach, playing with the hem of his shirt while Zayn is playing with the blond locks of Niall’s hair.

“You know, I think I’m gonna miss the sound of the rain,” Niall says suddenly. Zayn smiles at him.

“What else are you gonna miss? ” Niall thinks about Zayn’s question, rubbing his little butt chin and Zayn knows that that sight is something he’ll miss.

“I’m gonna miss winter, watching the snow fall with a hot cocoa, Christmas, snowballs fight. I’m gonna miss food. Desserts the most. I’m gonna miss vacations and holidays, waking up at odds hours, not going to work. I’m gonna miss Ireland. Fuck, I’m so gonna miss it.” He takes a deep breath and goes on.

“I’m gonna miss watching movies and I’m gonna miss you telling me how the book is so much better while I’m trying to watch it. I’m gonna miss eating all the popcorn and hearing you complain about it. I’m gonna miss sleeping. Wait, that one was stupid,” he chuckles and Zayn laughs along.

“I’m gonna miss your laugh. I’m gonna miss your smiles. I’m gonna miss the way your eyes light up when you talk about something that passionate you. I’m gonna miss falling asleep and waking up next to you. I’m also gonna miss your stupid fear of spiders. I’m gonna miss our nerf wars. I think what I’ll miss the most is everything about you." Niall takes a deep breathe in and tries to steady his voice. 

"I’m gonna miss you Zayn.” Niall finally says and Zayn is crying but he kisses him with his salty lips anyway and maybe if they never stop kissing, Niall will never leave.

When it’s beginning to get dark, they have to get out of the fort to go to the hospital.

“Aren’t we gonna clean this up?” Niall asks as he points to their fort. Zayn shakes his head.

“We’ll take it down when we come back.” Niall nods, even though he knows he’s probably not coming back.

_Day 23: Build a blanket fort._

~

Niall dies the next morning.

Zayn wakes up from the uncomfortable position on the hospital chair by Niall’s bed to the sound of Niall’s heart monitor giving up. He hears the final ‘beep’, he watches as the doctors tries to reanimate him and he cries when they fail. He’s holding onto Niall’s hand when a nurse comes in, his grip is so hard he’d probably stop the circulation in Niall’s hand if the younger boy was still alive. The nurse is sweet and when she asks Zayn if there are any relatives that she should call, Zayn tells her no, because his mom passed away a long time ago and he never knew his father. Zayn is the only person close to Niall and that makes everything a bit harder because he’s never felt more alone in his life.

They finally take Niall away from him, despite Zayn’s cries of protest and the boy goes home.

It hurts when he pushes the door to _their_ flat to find the blanket fort still standing there and Zayn crawls in and lies against the pillows and stays there until he needs a new one because this one is soaked wet from tears. When he lift the pillow though, there’s a paper with his name on it with the bad handwriting he knows so well, and Zayn falls down on the new, dry pillow with his face already full of fresh new tears and the letter in hand.

_Zayn,_

_I’m sorry. I wanted to do so much more with you. I still had a couple days on my bucket list, the doctor told me a month so I made thirty days. Turns out I’m supposed to leave early I guess. I wanted to take you to a drive-in theatre, watching a movie like every cute couples, probably falling asleep on the second movie. We always fall asleep during movies. I also wanted to get a pet. Actually, I would’ve liked to adopt a baby when we’d get older but God had other plans. I know you don’t believe in God or any of this shit, but I like it better when I think it’s all God’s master plan and that I’m in His demand. Maybe it’s just that mum misses me. I’m gonna miss you. But I already told you. I wanted to get a tattoo. Probably a kite, like the one we used in the park the other day. That was one of the happiest days of my life. The last month we spent together was my favourite. I wanted to go lie down in the park with you. Just the simple things, they’re the best to do with you because you make everything seems special. We could’ve found some shapes in the clouds. I would’ve pointed to one and tell you that when I leave, I’ll keep an eye on you from this cloud. I will. I also wanted to get a massage. You’ve got magic hands, it would’ve been perfect. On the last night, we would’ve been stargazing and you would’ve said something really cheesy like ‘The stars don’t shine half as bright as your eyes’. Don’t try to deny it, I know you Malik. Behind this bad boy persona is a real romantic. Maybe in the future we would’ve got married. I’d say yes in a heartbeat. But the thing I wish the more, more than any massage or sushi or weed, my ultimate wish is that you be happy Zayn. I want you to go on without me. Don’t cry because it ended, smile because it happened._

_I love you; nothing will ever change that, not even sickness or death,_

_Ni xxx_

~

In the following weeks, Zayn does many things. He quits his job because he fucking hated it; he adopts a cute dog and calls it Dr. Seuss. He eats sushi once a week, with a fork and doesn’t smoke a single cigarette. He gets a new tattoo, a kite with Niall’s name written underneath. He waters his tree, _their tree_ and buys new skates for the winter. To make some money, he draws portrait in the park and he’s surprisingly making a lot of cash from it.

And every morning, he goes to the window and watches the sky. And when he spots a cloud, he smiles, waves to Niall, and wishes him a good day.


End file.
